Alright, confession is good for the soul........ I am a wanna-be mole killer. This realization came to me the other day when, after awaking from a very restful sleep, I remembered I had a dream that my two loyal dogs and I were killing moles. Yes, it is true. Now I would describe some of the details of this dream, but I am afraid the gore could possibly lead this post to be R-rated.
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Those of you who have experienced moles probably can empathize with my situation. Moles just leave grass death and destruction in their wake. It is horrible. I have been fighting them for two years now. I have won a few battles (I think I have four confirmed kills), but I am not winning the war. Last year the moles attacked my flanks and worked in curious and discrete ways; behind fences, in the shade 0f trees, etc. This year it is a full blown frontal attack on the beauty of my front yard! That's not right.
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I like the traps and they have produced all my confirmed kills, but some moles are too smart and dig right around them. My latest attacks have been personally dubbed "operation shock and awe." I first run water full blast through a hose down into their tunnels for about 30 minutes. I then take that same hose and hook to the end of my tail pipe and gas them for about an hour. You would think this tactic would kill moles, but it only seems to enrage them and the next day I find more destruction than ever! It is sick.
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A few weeks ago I was having a discussion with my neighbor. We were sharing mole-war stories and learning from each other's tactics. He then told me that someone he knows (who will remain nameless), caught a mole with a "humane trap" and proceeded to take it out to Long Branch State Park and set it free.............................................:( I thought about making a citizen's arrest for crimes against the common good.
Yes, confession is good. I am a wanna-be mole killer.
